Brits Do It Better
by rebelxxwaltz
Summary: Buffy overhears a drunken conversation between Giles and Spike regarding her sex life with Riley. Results? A very confused and intrigued Watcher and one *angry* Slayer. AUish, set late in season 4. Buffy/Giles. Now complete with Epilogue!
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! I just wanted to write a B/G story that was fun and short, so we have this, most likely in two chapters. Possibly three. Short chapters are not seeming like a bad idea to me at the moment. :P

Here's the details:

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**Title: **_**Brits Do It Better**_**  
Pairing: **B/G**  
Rating: **This chapter probably **T**, fic as a whole is definitely **M  
Summary: **Buffy overhears a drunken conversation between Giles and Spike concerning her sex life with Riley, resulting in a very confused and intrigued Watcher and one very pissed off Slayer.**  
Spoilers: **Season 4 generally. The fic is set sometime soon after _Where the Wild Things Are_, and is essentially AU. Which might matter if it actually had a plot!**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own BtVS or any of the characters. I just like poking them with a metaphorical sharp stick. Yay, torture!

Dedicated to _**Rippertish**_, who recently demanded that I 'write some dirty smut'! You won't get it in this chapter, but I think you can tell it's in the pipeline.

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**Brits Do It Better  
Chapter 1**

"So then she says, 'I don't care. I swear I'll stake you whether you have a chip or not!' Do you believe that? I mean, Christ… dust me when I can't even fight back properly? Talk about kicking a vamp when he's down."

"Hmm." Giles was sprawled lazily in his armchair, neck stretched sideways and a glass of Scotch dangling precariously from his left hand. He was drunk. So drunk, in fact, that he wasn't even bothered by Spike's boots on the furniture. The vampire was reclined on Giles' couch, legs fully extended and feet crossed comfortably upon the arm of the sofa. He had his own glass of Scotch balanced somewhat unsteadily atop his solar plexus.

"I mean, what's her problem anyway? I haven't even _tried_ to kill her lately. Or any of you wankers she calls her friends." He spoke as though he seemed to think that this fact deserved some amount of special recognition.

Giles leveled his house guest with a Ripperish glare, reaching toward the coffee table for the half-empty liquor bottle. "Oh yes, and all out of the goodness of your heart." The neck of the bottle clinked against the mouth of the glass.

Spike looked momentarily affronted. "Oh come on! Just because I _can't_ doesn't mean I _would_ if I could." He scowled, showing quite plainly that yes, he _really_ wished he could. "Besides, it's not like she treats you all that much better."

Almost choking on his rather large gulp of spirits, Giles waved a finger at Spike unsteadily. "Don't you dare compare yourself to me. I'm sure Buffy has a lot on her mind-"

"Ohhhhh, right!" Spike interrupted. "So much on her mind that the Slayer can't remember to tell her own Watcher about the secret government organization she's joined?"

Giles frowned briefly, trying to hide his displeasure and stop his subconscious from producing visions of himself strangling Maggie Walsh. Thinking homicidal thoughts about the dead was certainly very wrong, even for reasons other than simple chronology. His eyebrows knit in irritated confusion at this train of thought. "Everyone makes mistakes. And it's natural for Buffy to want some independence. College-"

"College?" Spike snorted. "What has that got to do with anything? She's always been independent. That never stopped her from sticking with you before."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Giles sighed in defeat. "Do shut up, Spike…"

"Then she meets one beefy farm boy and you're thrown aside with the rest of the broken playthings."

"Oh, thank you _so_ very much." Leaning back in the chair, Giles knocked back the rest of the Scotch and proceeded to stare at the ceiling.

The man and the vampire were silent for a long moment, both contemplating their various and sundry recent injuries at the hands of Buffy Summers. A heady atmosphere of abandonment, anger, and alcohol pervaded the room.

Spike broke through the heavy, depressing mood with a small throat-clearing noise. "You know… there might be something to be said for that."

Pretending to care simply because he had nothing better to do, Giles gave the necessary reply. "For what?"

Sitting up slightly, a devious look passed over the vampire's face. "Buffy and Riley. Maybe _that's _the reason she's been queen Bitch lately."

Giles shook his head, scrunching his face in perplexity. "I think I must be missing something."

"No, mate. I'd bet the blood bank Buffy's the one missing out. Maybe soldier boy just isn't up to the task. It would certainly explain why she's so high strung."

Little wheels turned drunkenly in the Watcher's mind. Something niggled at the edge of his consciousness. Several somethings, which were not often thought of concurrently. Not, at least, on the surface. A few of them involved Buffy. Most of them involved sex. "Now just a moment. You can't seriously be implying- I mean, you can't _honestly_ think-"

"Yeah I can! I'm telling you, all the classic signs are there. The Slayer is cranky because G.I. Joe can't figure out how to ring her bell!" Spike smirked, releasing a manic giggle.

Giles sputtered. "But… surely she must… I mean…" Even without the aid of alcohol, he was reasonably sure he wouldn't have been able to come up with a rebuttal against Spike's theory. That would require far too many thoughts of Buffy in delicious, compromising, limb-tangling situations- and once he got past the notion of her exquisitely toned _naked_ skin he wasn't even sure what he was attempting to defend anymore. "Bloody Hell…"

**xxxxxxxxx**

Buffy walked quickly toward Giles' apartment, not looking particularly happy. She had just had another fight with Riley. He didn't want her to patrol, she had to. He wanted to go with her, she found him distracting. He wanted to have sex before she left, she didn't _feel_ like it. You know, just life in general. Classic couply squabble. Except for the parts about killing vampires- but hey, it was normal to her. Like other people didn't have their quirks?

She sighed, approaching Giles' building from around back. With Adam on the loose she tried to make sure her patrol included at least a brief sweep of the neighborhoods where her friends lived and the perimeter of their homes. Better to be safe than sorry. That had become abundantly clear after her Watcher's recent stint as a Fyarl demon. Her heart jumped into her throat every time she thought about how close she had come to killing him. Buffy shuddered. What would she do without Giles?

Walking past the open window to Giles' living room, she heard voices drifting out into the rapidly darkening night. She molded herself against the wall, peeking curiously around the corner to see who he was talking to.

Spike? Oh, great. What was he doing here? Buffy crouched down next to the window, reaching out with her Slayer hearing to catch the thread of the conversation. She heard Spike telling Giles that college wasn't a reason for her not to stick by him. Wait a second- did that mean Giles thought she _wasn't _ sticking by him? Her eyes narrowed as she continued to listen.

Buffy smiled as her Watcher deflected Spike's arguments, even though she didn't care for the slight slur she could detect in his voice. What was with Giles being drinking guy lately, anyway? She resolved to spend more time with him, maybe even make him some tea. Some company other than Riley would be nice once in awhile anyway, and Willow and Xander seemed so busy with their own relationships lately…

She was barely able to hold back a shocked exclamation as Spike started talking about her and Riley. Where did he get off saying things like that about their relationship? Maybe she would stake him after all. Tonight was as good a night as any! Her anger continued to build as Spike clarified his meaning in no uncertain terms. Ring her _bell_? Why did men have to be such _pigs_?

She listened as Giles burbled over his response, waiting for him to tell Spike to mind his own business. To her annoyance, she heard a tone of incredulous curiosity in his voice. Looking in the window, she took in his glazed expression and Spike's self-satisfied smirk.

Spellbound and not just a little bit infuriated, Buffy waited. She had no idea what they would say about her next, but she had a definite feeling that one or both of the men in that room were going to be in _big_ trouble by the time this conversation was over...

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Tune in next time and see just how badly Giles can shove his foot in his mouth. Or will Buffy be mad enough to do it for him? No worries, I'm sure some good will eventually come of this. I am the author, after all! ;) Like it? Hate it? Want to take it to the prom? Let me know in a review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Here's chapter 2 of this story. It's rather short, but I wanted to update before the weekend. The next chapter is already half-written, so it should probably be out in a few days. It was all going to go together, but I found that this was a natural break. Plus, it's too much fun to keep everyone in suspense a little longer!

Spoiler warnings and disclaimers from the first chapter still apply here. The rating is probably still T; we're still lingering in the 'suggestive discussion' stage… which I must say is *really* fun to write! Not that the inevitable smut won't be fun too… ;)

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**Brits Do It Better  
Chapter 2**

Buffy settled herself in the flower bed, sitting with her back against the building and letting her enhanced hearing do the work. She wasn't quite sure it was possible to have your hearing obscured by the sound of your own gritting teeth, but she tried to restrain herself anyway. She would have never expected to find herself in this situation, crouched below an open window like some kind of peeping Tom, listening to her Watcher discussing the details of her sex life with a vampire. While Spike may have been neutered in the strictly vampiric sense, he wasn't exactly what you would call prim and proper. Buffy braced herself for the onslaught of lewd and inappropriate comments that was probably about to begin, more nervous about Giles' participation in the dissection of her love life than she was over anything Spike could say…

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The rather tipsy subjects inside the apartment had been silently contemplating for a few moments, Spike still wearing the mischievous grin that had sprung onto his face at the idea that Riley Finn wasn't exactly dynamite in the sack. William the Bloody had known quite a few Slayers in his time, and even without sharing an intimate relationship- though killing them might qualify as a _sort_ of special closeness- it was easy enough to tell that a woman like that takes a lot of doing to keep happy, and not _just_ in the literal sense. Slayers were high maintenance, with a sex drive that might as well carry a warning of 'Danger: High Voltage'. A squeaky clean good-boy type like Captain Cardboard never had a chance.

"You know what it is?" Spike's voice bordered on thoughtful as he tried to devise a way to explain this new revelation. "It's like… the difference between the piss these Americans call beer and a nice rich pint of ale."

Giles was leaning forward in his chair with his elbows propped on his knees. The empty Scotch glass had been put by the wayside- he was drunk enough to begin with, and now he had naughty thoughts of his Slayer dancing around the fringes of his mind to further intoxicate him. His hands fiddled nervously with his glasses. "I'm not sure I follow you."

Spike rolled his eyes. "And I thought you were supposed to be the smart one 'round here. Look at it like this. Riley is mister 'American as apple pie', right? Well, who really wants Auntie Mildred's apple pie anyway? They all say they like it, but they're really just saying it so she won't feel bad. What everybody _really_ wants is the decadent chocolate layer cake from the imported pastry shop down the other end of the road. Am I right?"

"I suppose I understand your basic analogy, but I'm missing out some of the details. If Riley is, uh, this 'apple pie' that apparently Buffy doesn't really want, who exactly is supposed to be the chocolate cake?" Giles rubbed one hand across his slightly stubbled cheek, figuring he must be drunker than he thought if Spike's beer and pastry wisdom was making any sort of logical sense.

Releasing a short sound somewhere between a hum and a giggle, Spike swung his legs around so that he was sitting upright on the sofa. Pouring himself another Scotch, he leaned toward Giles conspiratorially. "Haven't you figured that out yet, mate? _We're_ the chocolate cake. Blokes like you and me, men of the world, who know how to grab the right end of the stick."

Giles digested this information carefully inside of his foggy mind. He could deal with being a 'chocolate cake' in general, but he had never contemplated any type of stick-grabbing activity where Buffy was concerned… not outside of the type that involved staking a vampire, in any case. His face turned slightly red at the implication, wishing Spike's imagery didn't have to be so blatantly anatomical. But then again… maybe he was making things more difficult by failing to cut to the chase. It was just idle talk, after all. Merely harmless speculation. "So what you're saying is, you think one of _us_ would be able to give Buffy the, err, satisfaction she deserves?"

"Why not?" Spike stretched himself, leaning comfortably into the cushions with one arm stretched along the back of the couch. "After all, everybody knows us Brits do it better."

Tilting his head to the side slowly, Giles raised an eyebrow in reluctant agreement. His mouth quirked up just slightly at the corner, train of thought heading suddenly down a rather dark and dangerous tunnel. "Well yes, there _is_ that…"

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That? there _is _that? What exactly is _that _supposed to mean?

Buffy's mind was reeling. She hadn't understood the part about the beer. As far as she was concerned, beer bad. Period. No matter which kind it was. The part about the desserts, however, was a little more troubling…

…because Buffy wanted chocolate cake.

She wasn't sure she understood what Spike was trying to explain by the difference, but she knew how chocolate cake made her feel. Especially when you compared it against her aunt's apple pie. She wanted rich chocolatey goodness, fudge frosting layers, delicious ganache. She completely failed to see how Spike fit into this comparison, but Giles? Well… she could kind of see him that way. Giles _could_ be a chocolate cake. The fact that she thought so caused panic and confusion, which she carefully smothered underneath the blanket of anger that still covered her understanding of what she had heard so far.

And what was it with the British, anyway? Like, snobby much? Do they really think they do _everything_ better?

Trying to put a leash on her roving thoughts, Buffy returned her attention to Giles and Spike as they began speaking again in low, whiskey stained tones.

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Yes, Buffy. You *know* you want a chocolate cake! And Giles is a chocolate cake. Want. Take. Have! Well… maybe in the next chapter, anyway. Or the one after that. I have caught a case of the short-chapter bug at the moment, so be gentle with me. Buffy and Giles have some issues to work through first before anybody gets their, errr, bell rung. ;)

Looks like this story is going to the Prom with **Rippertish**, but might be persuaded to attend after parties with someone else. After all, you only live once! Review and let me know if you want to party with this fic!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi! Here's chapter 3. Looks like I got over my little romance with short chapters. This one is a doozy, at least compared to the first two. I wanted to get through all (or at least the majority of) the rest of the exposition in this chapter. The next one should be the last, and will contain the B/G finale! Should be interesting. ;)

Rating is probably up to **M** at this point, due to the increasing smuttiness of the thoughts and conversations. All other disclaimers still apply. Spoiler-y content for season 4 _Harsh Light of Day_ and _Where the Wild Things Are_, at the very least.

**Brits Do It Better  
Chapter 3**

Spike grinned to himself internally. This was about to get good. Buffy was going to go absolutely spare, and he had every intention of making her as furious as possible. Oh yes, he knew she was outside the window. What vampire wouldn't? They were drawn to the Slayer naturally, and she had been around long enough for him to become pretty well attuned to her presence. He could almost feel the cocktail of emotions surging through her, making her blood pound through her veins… bollocks. That line of thought wouldn't do him any good. This little heart-to-heart with the Watcher, though? Well, it certainly had potential. Maybe he could kill two birds with one stone...

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"So, looks like Riley isn't making the grade. That much we can agree on. Now, for the fun part. Obviously we've both got what it takes, but where to start? There are just so many… possibilities."

Giles sent a rather weak glare across the room at his companion, reaching instinctively for the severely depleted Scotch bottle as some of those 'possibilities' jumped into the forefront of his mind unbidden. "We shouldn't be talking about this. It's highly inappropriate."

Spike shrugged. "So bloody what? It's not like there's anyone else here. Just a bit of fun between mates."

Giles' glare intensified, indicating that he wasn't _quite_ drunk enough to think of himself and Spike as 'mates'.

"Oh, come on then. Just think of it as Watcher's research if that makes it easier for you. Aren't you supposed to know _everything_ about the Slayer, inside and out?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Settling back in his armchair, Giles idly tilted the glass of Scotch in a circular motion, passively examining the amber liquid and contemplating the rather alarming idea at hand. After a few more wordless moments, he began. "Buffy has been a very passionate person ever since I've known her, even from a relatively young age. I'm sure this quality would extend into all aspects of her life."

"So you think she's a firecracker in the sack, then? I'm inclined to agree on that score."

Grinning briefly at Spike's simplification, he replied. "I suppose you could put it that way if you wanted to be rather crass. Buffy has an intense nature. It only follows that her needs and wants in the bedroom would reflect that."

Spike looked at Giles out of the corners of his eyes. "Well, she certainly warrants a _thorough_ exploration. Do you think Riley the witless wonder understands the value of foreplay?" The vampire was baiting the Watcher quite blatantly. He knew Giles wasn't as tweedy and straitlaced as he tried to appear. Spike didn't even have to know about the whole 'Ripper' thing to know that there was a side to the Watcher that was darker and more complex. He wanted the satisfaction of causing that part of Giles to come out and play… but his responses so far had still been disappointingly scholarly.

Giles sipped his drink, allowing himself to try and imagine the probable pattern of interaction between Buffy and the younger man. "I'm not sure what Riley _thinks_ he understands. The question is whether Buffy is willing or able to communicate her desires, and whether Riley has the ability to recognize and deliver."

"Because otherwise it's wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am for Army Boy and no joy for the Slayer."

"Err, yes, I suppose." Giles shrugged, looking thoughtful. "On the other hand, there was that whole incident at the frat house recently… they seemed to display a certain degree of stamina together."

Spike waved a hand and made a dismissive "pshaw" sound. "That was only because of the sex-crazed ghosties. And even then, nothing sounded all that electrifying about what was going on in that room. Not so much as a banging headboard, mate! How disappointing is that?"

Giles' lips moved, trying to form words. His uncooperative mind was busily assembling the puzzle pieces of 'Buffy' and 'banging headboard'. He really tried so very hard not to think of himself as the missing puzzle piece. Really, he did. It was… wrong for him to think of her in such a way. The devil on his shoulder, however, was whispering that it would be oh so right… for the moment, his conscience won out. "Err, it does seem to indicate a certain lack of… vigor. But-"

"Oh come on, Rupert. The boy is obviously a limp noodle. Wouldn't you give it to her hard, if she needed it? Can't you imagine her twisting up the bedclothes, waking the neighbors with her screaming, just begging for more?"

An involuntary groan wound its way up through Giles' midsection and into his throat. Conscience defeated soundly, he leant further back in his seat. Closing his eyes in resignation and letting the scene play out behind his eyelids, he ran a restless hand through his hair. "God yes…"

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Wait a minute. _Yes?_ He had said _yes?_ Spike she expected this from. He was a pig. She knew this. But _Giles_? Giles, her Watcher? Giles, the guy with the books and the tea? Her mind betrayed her, suddenly wanting to ask other, more probing questions. _Giles, the tall and good looking guy? Giles, the one who can keep up with you in training when even Riley ends up getting his ass kicked? Giles, the man who recently had a girlfriend with somewhat exotic good looks who repeatedly traveled across continents just to…_

…to_ what_, exactly? After hearing that sensual little noise erupting from her Watcher, she found herself to be scandalously curious. After years of most deliberately _not_ thinking about Giles that way, five minutes of listening to him talk about sex had made her want to know _everything_. And he wasn't even the one saying the really dirty stuff. If he started doing that… she didn't even want to think of how hearing things like that in his voice might affect her.

And the stuff he _had _said… how did he know? There were certain things in which Faith hadn't been completely wrong. The whole 'slaying makes you hungry and horny' idea had some validity to it, she would have to admit. Sometimes the sexual longings were so intense that what she had with Riley really _wasn't_ enough, but how was she supposed to tell him that? I mean, orgasms were nice, but you weren't supposed to have one _every_ time you were with someone…

…_were you_?

_Geez, Buffy, get a grip. _

This was supposed to make her mad. Her Watcher had admitted to enjoying smutty thoughts about her. She should be very angry. Mad mad mad! She repeated the word over and over to herself, a comforting mantra amidst the insanity that was this night. Anger was good. It would keep her from thinking things that she really, _really_ shouldn't.

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The two man-shaped creatures sprawled in the living room had started a debate over the ideal location for a tantalizing encounter with Buffy. They had emptied the Scotch bottle, each nursing half a glass as they hazily contemplated their fantasies.

"In the park, by that round mausoleum. You know, the one with the gargoyles?"

"Hmm. I don't see what's wrong with a plain old bed… though I wouldn't say no to satin sheets. And maybe some Japanese silk rope."

"A bit too traditional if you ask me, but I guess you score a few points for the light bondage. How about… up against the wall behind the Espresso Pump?"

"I didn't realize you had such a great love of the outdoors. Do you really think you could please a woman like Buffy with a… a _quickie_ up against a brick wall?"

"Everyone has their preferences, mate. Your turn."

Giles looked thoughtful and far away for a moment, trying to think of the perfect location for a hypothetical entanglement with his Slayer. He was taken by surprise at the odd thought that surfaced, though he had to admit it made him smile. There was something about the idea that was intensely private, and he wasn't sure at first that he wanted to share it- especially with Spike of all people. The alcohol, it seemed, had done just enough to his inhibitions that the words were exiting his mouth after just a brief hesitation.

"Umm… the library. The library at Sunnydale High."

Spike quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, looking surprised for perhaps the first time that night. "Bloody hell, Rupert! Have you been thinking about her like that since way back then?"

Looking outraged, Giles made a disapproving sound. "Of course I haven't. It's just… that place is deeply tied to my sensory memory, and has significance in our relationship. There are lots of reasons why I find the idea intriguing. This is an exercise in sheer imagination, after all. It's not like any of it will ever come to pass. I still don't really think of Buffy in… _that_ way, but the first time I had a single improper thought about her was several weeks after she started college."

The vampire looked skeptical at first, but latched eagerly onto the nugget of information at the end of Giles' defense. "Oh do tell. This I've got to hear."

Giles sighed and rolled his eyes. How had this perfectly normal night of drinking turned into a schoolgirl gossip session with a creature of the night? It was all too strange for words, which was probably the only reason he was sharing his thoughts. There was an air of unreality to the situation that seemed to make it allowable. "Remember when you were looking for the Gem of Amarra?"

Spike nodded, scowling at the memory.

"I went by Buffy's dorm one morning with some information. She arrived quite a few minutes after I did, returning from a night of… well, let's just say her story about being at the library all Saturday night didn't sound very credible." Giles smirked slightly, recalling Buffy's assertion that she was an adult and it was none of his business.

"I take it she hadn't been out slaying. The little tart."

Shooting Spike a reproachful look, the Watcher continued. "She didn't notice I was there at first. She had her back turned to me and started to undress. She was wearing this shirt that was totally backless but for a few strings that tied in the middle." He chuckled to himself, remembering the sudden rush of interest he had felt then. "I was so busy being speechless, she had half of them untied before I could manage to announce my presence. I think we were both equally mortified, but all I could keep thinking about was how her skin would feel beneath my fingertips. I don't know if I had ever seen a garment that was so provocative without actually… showing anything. Part of me wanted to grab hold of her and untie the rest of those strings- with my teeth." The salacious revelation made Giles turn a bit red.

Spike shifted slightly, lying with his head pillowed on one arm. "Christ. Quite the tease, that one. But back to this library thing. What exactly did you have in mind?"

Giles extended his long legs out in front of him, resting his feet on the coffee table. He imagined the scenario, letting the scene unfold before him. The two of them, in the library, at night, with nobody else around. Buffy would be watching him intently, something beckoning in her glance. He could see himself reaching out one hand to touch her face, trailing his fingers over the petal soft contour of her cheek. Brushing her lips with his thumb, he would slowly pull her face toward his…

"It would have to start with a proper kiss. Kissing is a highly underrated activity, I daresay. You can learn a lot about your lover by the way they kiss. Not to mention, those first touches are rather thrilling. It's a good opportunity to find sensitive spots. Behind the ear, along the collarbone, the small of the back… every woman has at least one spot that drives them crazy when you touch it. I like taking the time to find out what it is."

"Not sure I would have pegged you for the slow and sensual type."

Giles shrugged. "I wouldn't say that I am. I just don't see any reason to hurry, not at first anyway. A little bit of extra effort at this stage generally, err, pays off later on."

A bawdy chuckle was Spike's initial reply. "I think I catch your drift, although I would prefer that there weren't so many clothes in the way. So where exactly is this episode taking place?"

"Hmm… she's sitting on my desk. I can get a very good angle to kiss her that way, especially if she opens up so that I can stand between her knees. After awhile, I would slide my hand up under her shirt…"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy listened, transfixed, as her Watcher vividly fabricated a scenario of them together. Like, _really_ together. Her breath was coming in shallow gasps as she listened to his sensual voice talking about all the amazing things he would do to her. She found herself to be both horrified and… delighted. Horrified because he was Giles and he shouldn't be saying those things. Delighted because… well, because he was Giles and he was saying those things.

She leaned her head against the cool wall of the apartment building, shutting her eyes. _Confused much? _

The heart hammering in her chest was telling her to flee, but she just couldn't stop listening. He talked about using his hands and his mouth in ways she had never even known were possible. Every word he said was directed towards her pleasure and his desire to drive her over the edge. And, with some crude prompting from Spike, Giles described the actions he would wish _her_ to perform. It was mostly stuff she had thought about, but had been too nervous to try with Riley.

_Riley… remember him?_

Oh God. She had been so deeply riveted by the picture Giles was painting of them… _getting it on_… that she had totally forgotten about Riley. Her boyfriend. The one Giles and Spike had been so happy to make disparaging comments about just a few minutes earlier. The anger she was supposed to be feeling returned full force. How could they talk about her that way, invent these… _obscene_ scenarios with her in the starring porno role, when she was already taken? It wasn't right or acceptable in any way for them to say those things, and it was most certainly wrong for her to listen.

She was _so _not interested. And the fact that they were making this stuff up with no intention of doing or saying anything to her actually made it all worse. It made her feel… cheap. And _wrong_, for wanting to hear more. After patrol she would come straight back over here and make sure Giles understood that she wasn't willing to take drunkenness or innocent intentions as an excuse for his behavior. And if Spike were still around? Well, she would just stake him.

Rising stealthily from her perch in the flower bed, the Slayer stretched her limbs and disappeared into the night, hoping to channel her unaccountable feelings of emotional turmoil and restlessness into some nice, satisfying violence.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Whoops! Buffy forgot about Riley. Oh well, she won't be needing him for much longer, anyway. I wonder what it will take to make her see reason? Actually I don't, because I'm the author! I bet most of you have it figured out by this point as well. ;)

I didn't want Spike to be *too* much of a nice guy here, so I added in a little bit of malicious intent on his part, a la _The Yoko Factor_. As usual, his evil intentions will probably just blow up in his face- probably in the guise of a B/G fireworks explosion, in this case. The big conclusion will come in the next chapter. Horny, angry Slayer. Half-drunk, intrigued Watcher. What could possibly go wrong? Hahaha…

This fic had a great time at the prom with **Rippertish**, enjoyed many an after party with **Blind Magdalene**, and had adorable prom-night-dumpster-babies with **bloodydarkwolf**. And hey, the prom weekend is still young!

So… who wants morning-after-the-prom hangover waffles at the local diner? I like waffles, because you can put reviews in the little holes if you wanted to…


	4. Chapter 4

Right. So this was supposed to be the last chapter, but it isn't. It got *way* too long. I hope having an additional chapter on the horizon isn't a bad thing! These guys had a lot of thinking to do, but there is still some pretty good stuff at the end of the chapter, if you know what I mean. Hope you guys enjoy it and don't mind waiting a little longer for the inevitable conclusion! The (hopefully) final chapter should be up within a week! :)

Disclaimers are still in effect. Spoilers for season 4 generally. Rating is **M**.

**Brits Do It Better  
Chapter 4**

Buffy growled, pounding her fist into the fledgling vampire's face with far more violence and enthusiasm than strictly necessary. She had hoped that a few good slays would help her to channel and release the aggression and nebulous pent up energy she had been carrying around since her little spy session at Giles' window. Unfortunately, slaying just stoked her up with more adrenaline than she knew what to do with, and her mind was playing some seriously screwy tricks on her. All she could think about, it seemed- apart from her very basic need to hurt, maim, and annihilate- was Giles. Giles and the things he had been saying with that honey-dipped, rough and tumble, shockingly provocative voice…

With an inarticulate shout, Buffy drove the stake into the vampire's heart and watched him explode into a satisfying cloud of dust. The knowledge of a job well done kept her preoccupied for about five seconds, and then she was right back to thinking about it again. She gave an irritated sigh, plopping down onto a nearby park bench.

It wasn't the combination of Giles and sex in general that was giving her a problem. Contrary to popular belief, she didn't think her Watcher was a book with arms. They had all seen him kissing Miss Calendar that time in the library when they were still in high school. He had definitely looked like he knew what he was doing. Buffy had assumed the little butterflies she had felt in her stomach back then had simply been warm fuzzies from seeing something so sweet and effortlessly romantic. When she thought back on it now, though… maybe it had been a little bit of something else. Something in the way he had cradled Jenny's face, the way he seemed to be sheltering her smaller body with his own. Remembering the scene caused a mysterious increase in her heart rate.

And then there had been Olivia. Buffy looked down at her hands, remembering Giles in his robe and Olivia prancing around in his shirt. That embarrassing incident had happened months ago, but apparently it was still fresh enough for the Slayer to feel her sense of righteous indignation bubbling to the surface. Buffy's id, a part of her brain she had met in psychology class and which she was studiously ignoring at the moment, was screaming at her that indignation wasn't even the half of it. Buffy refused to let herself even _think_ the 'J' word. She wasn't afraid of the green-eyed monster. Meet a monster, slay it. That was her philosophy. She only wished that she could stop her traitorous brain from skipping over the whole 'monster' thing and forging a direct connection between the word 'slay' and the word 'Olivia'.

That nagging sense of possessiveness she felt toward Giles was probably some kind of Watcher/Slayer thing, Buffy reasoned. They were kind of… connected. In a way that did _not_ involve any lips or hands or… other extremities. Yes, that seemed to make sense. If she thought about it _that_ way, her discombobulated feelings didn't have to mean anything wigsome or otherwise wrong. And she could still be enraged about the things Giles and Spike had been saying about her boyfriend and his… shortcomings.

So back to the issue at hand. Giles had violated her trust by talking- to _Spike_ of all people- about her sex life. He had made dismissive remarks about Riley's performance in bed, a topic which he could not reasonably know anything about. So what if a few of his guesses were right? That didn't mean it was okay! And the other things he had said… how was she ever supposed to look him in the face again without thinking about the seductive portrait he had painted with such deliberate strokes?

Buffy shivered at the imagery, wishing she had thought of a better way to phrase that. Instead, she was left with vague notions of Giles and chocolate body paint.

If she didn't talk to him about this now, it was just going to flood her with unresolved tension and probably cause the recent rift in their relationship to widen irreparably. She really didn't want that. She cared about Giles. Needed him, even. It frightened Buffy to realize that, when it all came down to it, Giles was probably the most important man in her life- even on a list that included Xander and her father and Riley, who was supposed to have the place of honor in her heart. There was one major difference between Giles and Riley, apart from the fact that she was not romantically involved with her Watcher. The fact of the matter was, she could _live_ without Riley. Live without Giles? She wasn't so sure.

And that was why she was now jogging toward the familiar apartment at three o'clock in the morning. Surely they could talk this out and move past it. Or she could yell at him for awhile and he could apologize. The only thing she couldn't do was let this slide past and keep her feelings bottled up. When they kept secrets from each other, one or both of them usually end up getting hurt. The confrontation might not be pretty, but at least it would all be out in the open.

Who knew? When all was said and done, maybe it would even bring them closer…

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles cringed slightly, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead as he finished fussing with the teapot. After a mere two and a half minutes of listening to Spike's version of the Buffy fantasy, he had kicked the vampire out of his house, ignoring his protests of needing to use Giles' microwave to warm up his mug of blood. The Watcher had already felt bad enough for having indulged in such a discussion without having to hear about Spike's intention to… Well, it was hardly even proper to remember it. Suffice it to say, it had involved a lot of spanking and an inordinate number of appearances by the phrase 'ram it in there'. Certainly not Giles' cup of tea for his evening entertainment. Speaking of which…

He picked up the tea things and went back to the living room. It was nearly three AM now, the vampire having departed several hours ago. Giles hardly considered it worthwhile to go to sleep, reasoning that he would only wake up with a giant hangover. He could torment himself perfectly well even if he remained awake, and possibly avoid the onset of a skull-splitting headache by ingesting enough fluids and engaging in general laziness and moping.

Moping, oh yes. Giles was feeling decidedly sulky. This whole debased evening had made him realize how badly damaged his relationship with Buffy really was. How had things gotten to this point? He had always thought that when she graduated high school and the status of their outward relationship- faculty member to student- changed, that their personal relationship could only improve. He had looked forward to a day when they could work together on equal terms, as two adults, hopefully even friends. And for a brief time that had seemed plausible.

Then, there had been the incident with Olivia.

Sipping his tea, Giles recollected the look on Buffy's face that day, her shock, her comments about his age. He also remembered what a complete imbecile he had acted like, telling her to go and solve her own problems like it was nothing new. He had been, admittedly, distracted by his own… affairs. Nevertheless, his dismissal of her had been inexcusable. The cost of his behavior, if he had cared to see it at the time, was quite evident in the obvious hurt her features had displayed. She had come to him for help and he had acquitted himself like the worst kind of hypocrite, telling her he was there for her and sending her away in the same breath.

Much to his chagrin, she had thereafter followed his misguided advice to the letter. Even after he took it back and apologized as earnestly as he could, reiterating his wish that she come to him whenever she needed to, she stayed stubbornly away. In a way, he resented the fact that she seemed to want to punish him for trying to have a personal life. That conviction fell flat in the end, however, because of how much he wanted her to be_ in it_.

As far as Olivia was concerned, well, that would have been well and over even without any help from The Gentlemen. Liv had taken it in stride at first, having Buffy show up at the apartment unannounced, entering his flat without ceremony or a knock, with no explanation other than her status as his former student. Buffy wouldn't be mentioned for awhile, then Olivia would pop out with a random question about her at a time when Giles least expected it. This habit seemed to indicate that his connection to his Slayer, or his student who needed 'help' with her 'studies' as the case may have been laid before her, bothered Olivia a lot more than she let on. Giles had no doubt that even if it wasn't the entire reason for her decision to end what they had, it had likely been a contributing factor.

His dangerous life full of demons and monsters… and Buffy. The other woman, in whatever way. Just because he didn't have a romantic relationship with Buffy didn't mean he wasn't devoted to her, because even if he wasn't her Watcher anymore- God help him- devoted he was. And Olivia, despite her deep interest in him, had never been one to settle for second best.

And where had all of this landed him? He slumped down further into the armchair, tugging at his shirtsleeve to pull it up over his elbow. It had landed him lonely and half drunk in a sparsely lit apartment, feeling like a fool and trying to wipe the recent proliferation of indecent thoughts about Buffy out of his mind. For all the good it would do him.

He wished for a moment that he was brave enough to approach her in hopes of repairing their relationship. He _missed_ her, he dimly realized. He wanted that closeness, the intangible bond that existed between them. Surely, there must be some way to make amends…

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She stood outside the door for a few moments, struggling. She could see the light still on, though it was quite faint. She hoped he was reading a book or drinking a cup of tea, rather than engaging in more… drunken activities. The first time she had come to his apartment to find him drunk had been one of the scariest moments up until that point in her young life. Just thinking about it made her want to punch Ethan Rayne all over again, for some reason. Giles' vulnerability that night, when he told her of Eyghon, had frightened her on some level. Probably because she was so used to him being the strong one, in many ways. Setting her mouth into a grim line, she reached for the doorknob, not sure of anything- including what the hell she was going to say.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles looked up as the door opened and shut loudly, thinking at first that Spike must have returned. To his surprise, Buffy was making her way across the living room toward him with a determined looked fixed upon her face. _Something must have happened, _he thought, _she looks like she's ready to kill._ He sat up a little further in his seat, senses set on edge at the idea of a threat serious enough to bring her here in the middle of the night. "Buffy? What is it? Has something happened?"

She regarded him silently, crossing her arms over her chest. She was giving him a weird look. Giles felt slightly uncomfortable under the heat of her stare, unnerved by her open scrutiny. Her reply did nothing to allay his confusion. "You might say that."

Setting his teacup on the coffee table, he stood, tilting his head to one side and rubbing the back of his neck nervously with one hand. He took a couple slow steps toward Buffy. "Err… would you care to… explain?"

The innocent, comforting… _Gilesness_ of his behavior made Buffy see red. How could he be acting so… _normal_ after talking about her that way? "Sure," she began, uncrossing her arms and resting one clenched fist on her hip. Her eyes narrowed. "Should I give you the rundown _before_ you bend me over the back of the couch and fuck me, or _after_?"

Giles froze. His mouth opened and closed involuntarily, attempting to form words. But how could he possibly formulate a reply to such a question? His eyebrows scrunched together, perplexed. What had she just asked him? Surely he must not have heard her correctly. Perhaps the alcohol and lack of sleep had made him delusional. "I… I'm sorry- what?"

Walking to the back of the couch, Buffy leaned against it. Propping herself up with both her hands, she looked toward the other side of the room. There was an awkward silence that stretched before her reply. When it came, it seemed oddly unrelated to her first bewildering statement. "It's been a little cold at night lately, hasn't it? You should reconsider leaving your windows open. Might let in a draft."

All the little wheels suddenly clicked together in the Watcher's slowly swimming brain. The entire night flashed before his eyes; Spike, the bottle of Scotch, the dirty conversation… the breeze through the open window. The. Open. Window. He now recognized her demeanor for what it was- thunderous anger. Oh, God. She had heard _everything_. He could tell.

Hanging his head in shame, Giles removed his glasses and deposited them on the desk. "Buffy, what you heard-"

"Oh, are you going to tell me about what I heard now, like I misunderstood? I think I'm pretty clear on most points. Gotta give you credit though- that part with the book cage was pretty creative."

He could see the hurt behind her eyes, which she was trying to cover up with a combination of rage and casual bravado. Sarcasm dripped from her words, and he couldn't even bring himself to feel insulted. He felt embarrassed and disgusted with himself, figuring he probably deserved whatever verbal assault she chose to aim at him.

"Forgive me," he whispered. "I- I didn't mean-"

Buffy released a mirthless chuckle. "Didn't mean what? All the insulting stuff you said about Riley, or the dirty talk about me?"

"Both, I suppose. Well, mostly, anyway."

He knew he had made a mistake by adding on that last bit. Her glare intensified, if that were possible. She took several steps toward him. Her sparking eyes held him, transfixed. There was anger, confusion, disappointment, and something else that Giles couldn't quite put his finger on. Probably nothing good, he reasoned.

"So you did mean at least _some_ of it. Great. Wanna share which parts you were most honest about? I'm dying to know whether you _really_ think Riley needs a GPS to find my clitoris. And did you get Spike's opinion on whether I'm a screamer or not? I must have missed that part."

A heavy sigh escaped him. "Buffy, please. I know I shouldn't have said those things, but you weren't meant to hear-"

"I wasn't meant to _hear_? Yeah, I guess not. Only you and your best pal Spike could be so lucky. Not that it matters. It's not like you have the guts to prove any of it."

He paused, digesting her last sentence. He was almost certain she couldn't realize what she had just said. "Excuse me? Prove-"

"You think you're so much better than Riley? So _prove it_." In a way, he was right. She _didn't_ realize what she was saying. Buffy certainly hadn't planned this, but every time she opened up her mouth something even more outlandish seemed to fly out. There was something about those hopelessly intermingled concepts of Giles and sex that was causing her centers of common sense to do the wacky.

Her arms were crossed over her chest again, a defiant expression on her face. He could sense the tension in her, feel the pent up energy of a coiled spring radiating from her direction. His expression darkened slightly as he contemplated the seriousness of her challenge. He spoke quietly, regarding her with a steady gaze. "This is ridiculous."

She came another step closer, whispering harshly, "What's ridiculous about it? Our relationship is already messed up as it is. We might as well hash it all out."

Looking down at her, Giles swept the palm of his hand across his slightly stubbled cheek. He knew this little game was getting dangerous, but there were few options and probably even less choices that provided a safe escape. "This solves nothing. You're being childish."

"_I'm_ being_ childish_?" Her voice rose, she was nearly yelling now. "Great, so now I'm a child. One minute you want to have sex with me, the next you're trying to shove me back in the cradle? Sorry to tell you this Giles, but you don't get to have it both ways!"

"I can't-"

"Can't what? Can't make me scream? Can't do it better than Riley? Or maybe you just plain can't get it up."

"You really don't know what you're talking about." He stalked toward her threateningly, mouth set in a grim line, bright green Ripper stare fixed on her small but powerful figure. Unconsciously, she backed away with a few small steps. For a moment, he thought she was admitting defeat. After all, did she really know what she was saying? Their last chance to avoid the risky turn this situation had taken passed by in the following second, when Buffy repeated her challenge in a barely audible furious whisper.

"Yeah? So _prove it_."

In the next moment he was upon her, pushing her up against the wall and pinning both her arms above her head. Leaning in, Giles pressed his body against hers. He said nothing at first, looking into her eyes to gauge her reaction. She looked frightened, but also transfixed. "Is this what you want?" He squeezed her wrists with his large hands, emphasizing his play for control over the situation. "You want to see how far you can push me? Perhaps if you force me to do this, it will make it okay for you to use me and discard me in a similar manner. Not like you haven't tried that already."

Buffy's breath came in shallow gasps, her body enraptured by his. In spite of her superior strength, Giles had her absolutely at his mercy, taking her prisoner with the intensity of his reaction. She watched his face, the rapid circulation of thought behind the wild and darkening green of his eyes. She knew she was in trouble. Their relationship would probably never recover from this, and it was her fault for provoking him to this point. Rationality betrayed her now, her traitorous mouth gasping out the only response it could currently understand. "_Do it_."

The words were barely out of her mouth when his lips descended, crushing against hers, hot and demanding. The tension that had been holding her body rigid sluiced away, replaced by alarming tingles that weakened her legs and shot through her core. Dimly realizing that she still needed to breathe, Buffy opened her mouth reflexively to gasp for air. Giles took the initiative, sweeping his tongue into her mouth without hesitation. Her mind reeled frantically. She could taste tea, toothpaste, something a little spicy, and just a faint reminder of whiskey. The combination was so appropriate for Giles; safe on the surface, but complex and increasingly dangerous the further you looked in. The danger was definitely there now.

For his part, Giles was a little stunned by her reaction. He had been sure she would throw him across the room as soon as he made even the ghost of an advance, but she was so pliant under his grasp, mouth and body so willing to let him take control. The sweet taste of her left him in a barely rational state, especially when he felt her clever little tongue begin to stroke against his own. She probably didn't even know she was doing it. Rocking his body even closer to hers, knee between her legs, he changed his grip on her wrists so that he held both of them in one strong hand. His newly freed hand trailed down her cheek, fingers caressing her neck and collar bone, sweeping down her side to her waist and snaking between her back and the wall to pull her hard against him. His long fingers splayed across her lower back, bunching the fabric of her shirt and sneaking beneath it to touch her skin.

The sensations were so delicious. Buffy's eyes were closed, and she could feel every inch of Giles' body where it met hers. His pulsing heartbeat, the contours of his musculature as he tensed and relaxed. And above all, the searing heat of his kiss. The variations in pace and pressure and the tender and confident way his mouth caressed hers combined to drive her crazy. She felt his hand drag down the side of her body and slide around to envelop her waist. What was happening to them? These feelings… she never could have envisioned this. Her last ounce of control broke when his slightly rough fingers teased the skin under her shirt. A wistful, hungry moan erupted from her abdomen and vibrated into their kiss.

Hearing that sensual noise escaping from his Slayer brought Giles just far enough out of his trance to realize that this had probably gone far enough. Buffy was straining towards him, obviously lost in their kiss. The amazing little sound he had caused her to emit was almost certainly 'proof' enough to satisfy her. Maybe if they stopped now, their relationship could be salvaged. It was up to him be the responsible one, before he lost the last vestiges of his control. Which would be all too easy…

Giles ended the kiss abruptly, unable to resist the temptation to suck Buffy's bottom lip into his mouth and give it a last gentle bite. She gasped as he released her, taking a large step away.

For several moments she leaned heavily against the wall. Both parties were breathing erratically, regarding each other with trepidation. Buffy had a glazed expression on her face and straightened up rather slowly. He watched her silently as her mind worked on a reaction. For a moment, he was almost sure she would try to kiss him again. Instead, he found himself staggering slightly as her palm met his face in a powerful and well-targeted slap.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Ha! Take that, Giles! How dare you kiss Buffy with such perfect, amazing skill? If that was her initial reaction, what do you suppose will happen next? Review with your guesses! The next chapter *should* be the last, and will be a direct continuation of this scene.

In the ever-growing saga of this fic, it has now gone to the prom with **Rippertish**, had a prom night dumpster baby with **bloodydarkwolf**, trawled the after parties with **Blind Magdalene, **and is currently primping for a day-after-the-prom double feature of waffles and a trip to the club with **S.M. Hoffman. **Who wants to meet us for our after club drunken 4am snack? And should we have pizza or falafels? ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Oh, yes. I am certainly the master of suspense! That is, if suspense means continuously saying "The next chapter will be the last chapter" and then saying "…oh wait, no it won't, just kidding!" In other words, there will still be another chapter after this. (sigh) I couldn't let the smut run wild *and* tie up all the loose plot ends without making this about 6,000 words long, so I decided to just go with it. More comments on this in the author's note at the bottom.

This is the smut chapter. And I really, really mean that. If you don't want to read 3,000 words of smut, I really don't recommend this chapter at all. If you do, on the other hand… stay, and hopefully be entertained! :)

Disclaimers are still in effect. Chapter rated **M** for… well, I think I already explained why.

**Brits Do It Better  
Chapter 5**

_Oh my God, I slapped him, _Buffy thought. _He just gave me the most amazing kiss I've ever had in my life, and I __**slapped**__ him_!

She had at least remembered to reign in her Slayer strength, just. In spite of her high threshold for pain, she could feel a tingling in her palm. She had a funny feeling it was related more to how his scratchy cheek had felt against her hand in that oh so brief moment of contact than to the impact itself. Speaking of which… what had she been thinking? _Had_ she been thinking? Maybe she was just the littlest bit angry with him for being right, for showing her the proof, for… for giving her exactly what she asked for? God, she really was the world's biggest _brat_, wasn't she?

Giles, for his part, was standing about six feet away, one hand resting on the back of the couch. With no glasses, slightly messy hair, and an untucked button down shirt, he looked vulnerable and almost boyish. He was deliberately avoiding eye contact. Who could blame him? He was probably furious, or- even worse- disappointed or disgusted. Buffy could feel the gap between them growing exponentially with every passing second, and she had an epiphany. The knowledge spread from her heart and through her bloodstream, reaching every limb and insinuating itself into the furthest corners of her mind. She suddenly knew that distance of any kind wasn't what she wanted. Her eyes were drawn to his lips and she knew that she couldn't bear for them to grow any further apart. She wanted to get closer- _so much closer_.

For a moment Giles' eyes alternated between looking into hers and looking at the ground. Then, he began to speak. "Buffy, I-"

Buffy knew in that instant that if she let him continue, the chance would be lost forever. Taking a deep breath, she threw caution to the wind and _pounced_.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He had probably deserved the slap, he reasoned. Even though she had been behaving in an unaccountably juvenile manner, he was still the guilty party. Regardless of the situation, saying such things about her really was unpardonable. And then he had taken advantage of her heightened emotional state by kissing her. And what a kiss it had been, even if he only got to enjoy the feel of her for a few moments. Certainly better than any pointless fantasy he could have concocted even in his wildest dreams...

Giles looked at the floor, not wanting to see the contempt that was probably present in her glance. He could feel her eyes on him without having to look, and he wondered what she was actually thinking. Curiosity got the better of him, and he allowed himself a brief glance. It was barely a second's worth of eye contact, but he encountered a disorienting patchwork of emotions. He had expected to see anger, and it was there in some form, just at the edge. But there were other things in Buffy's eyes, too. Confusion, uncertainty, apprehension, maybe even sadness. Also something else he couldn't quite recognize. He nearly chuckled inside. Homicidal rage, perhaps? He felt responsible for her turmoil, and his own. He had to say something. Otherwise she would probably bolt from the apartment and take extreme measures to avoid him henceforth for the rest of their days.

"Buffy, I- Aargh!"

The wind was knocked out of Giles' lungs as Buffy's body collided with his own. For one insane, preposterous moment he thought he had truly gone too far; that their relationship had been demolished so completely that she had decided to _slay_ him. She had taken him by surprise with her attack, and he stumbled backwards. He felt the couch behind him, but the momentum created by Buffy's assault on his upper body was too much. They toppled over the back of the couch together, Giles pitching his body instinctively in a bid to protect hers. As a result, they landed with him on the bottom, sprawled half on the couch and half off, one of his hands bracing against the coffee table to keep their tangled bodies from falling to the floor.

It was several moments before he realized that attempted murder was very, very, far from being her intention. The thing that finally caught him up to speed with the current circumstances was the electrifying sensation of her tongue boldly exploring the valley between his bottom lip and teeth. He inhaled sharply through his nose, seeing stars before his eyes for more than one reason. Her hands gripped his shoulders urgently, pinning him to the spot with the force of her tension. Then, she sucked his own tongue into her mouth, grazing it with her teeth suggestively, inviting him in. All the thoughts flew out of his head, the concept of responsibility and moral imperative consigned to oblivion in the face of their sudden passion.

Buffy squirmed in his lap as his hands shot up to frame her face, pulling her even closer and tilting her head in order to further deepen their kiss. One of his legs was halfway off the couch, foot in solid and supportive contact with the floor. The other was bent at the knee and sprawled against the back of the couch. Both of Buffy's legs were between his. Her small hands began to wander away from his shoulders, stroking eagerly toward his chest.

Gasping softly, he allowed a pause in their kiss as her fingers teased his nipples through the shirt he was wearing. They breathed unsteadily, lips feathering against each other as their eyes met. Confirming their mutual desire with one heated glance, Buffy impatiently turned her attention to Giles' shirt buttons. Her body hummed with pleasure as she felt his lips bestow a hot, open-mouthed kiss on her neck. He took a moment to suck on her pulse point, feeling her blood pound beneath her skin. She responded to his attention with a throaty, ardent whisper. "Giles…"

He shifted slightly, sliding his hand up the back of her shirt and rearranging their legs so that Buffy was straddling him. She arched forward, pushing the open flaps of his shirt aside to stroke his sides as he kissed his way up her jaw until their lips met again. She moaned into his mouth. The feeling of his fingertips on the sensitized skin of her back was incredibly arousing, a fact she communicated by grinding her pelvis against his.

Sliding his other arm around her waist and using his strength to leverage her, Giles rocked his hips upward in response. He emitted a carnal growling noise, almost a purr. Buffy peered down at him, absently tracing his chest and abdomen with her fingernails. His eyes were bright green, devouring her with interest.

Her lips were red, hair tousled. She looked thoroughly kissed. Her appearance just made him want to satisfy her more, and in _so_ many ways.

That was more or less inevitable and very much hoped for, as far as Buffy was concerned. She didn't really care what she had to do, as long as he kept touching her, kept grinding against her, kept making those incredibly sexy noises… Eager to help the process along, Buffy bent her head and began to suck gently on Giles' collar bone. She slid her lips slowly sideways, tasting his skin and edging toward the hollow of his throat. He answered with a pleased "Mmm" sound, pulling her body away from his just long enough to yank her shirt over her head and throw it over the back of the couch.

Giles was overwhelmed by the seductive scene before him. His Slayer was perched astride his hips, wearing jeans and a pink lace bra. The hunger in her expression matched what he himself was feeling. He reached both hands up, caressing Buffy's shoulders and trailing down until each hand covered a breast, teasing her nipples with his thumbs through the lacy material. "Oh God," she gasped out, stretching her neck to one side and closing her eyes. She shuddered, feeling the fingertips of one of Giles' hands fluttering across her eyelids, ghosting over her face, pausing to trace her lips. He stroked his hand along the side of her neck like he was petting a big cat. His actions had distracted her from the fact that he had deftly unhooked her bra with his other hand, removing the offending garment as the first one finished its descent.

Her naked chest pressed against his as he sat slightly more upright, bringing their bodies into even fuller contact. Buffy kissed him wildly, trying to push his shirt off his shoulders. It got caught around his elbows, because his hands were busy clasping her body against his and caressing her skin to find all her sensitive places. One of his hands shot up to fist in her hair, massaging her scalp and holding her mouth hard against his in the process. Buffy and Giles undulated against each other in a searing embrace, quickly spiraling out of control. The friction caused by the two layers of denim that separated her heat from his hardness had a delicious, forbidden texture.

It was becoming too much. Giles' mouth traveled down her neck and over her shoulder, biting gently where the two met. Buffy gasped, grabbing crazily at Giles' exposed skin wherever she could get her hands on it. After working the obviously sensitive area of her neck with his teeth and tongue for some time, he turned his mouth's attention to her pebbled nipple. His hands were both keeping busy, one caressing her opposite breast, the other with its fingers dipping inside the waistband of her jeans. Buffy's hands flew instinctively to his belt buckle. The implications of both their actions struck them at once, and they paused to find the needed confirmation in each other's eyes. Buffy unhooked his belt and popped the button on his jeans. Giles slid one hand onto the side of her face, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. She turned into the hand, mouthing at it, giving his thumb a quick bite. Tugging at the open waistband of his pants, she pleaded. "Please…"

She felt herself being pulled suddenly into a standing position. He had set her on her feet so that she was standing before him, between his legs. Quickly, Giles shrugged his shirt the rest of the way off, letting it fall forgotten behind him on the couch. He hooked his index fingers into the belt loops of Buffy's jeans, pulling her toward him. She rested her hands on his shoulders, wondering what he would do next. He placed a few small, tickling kisses on her abdomen, smiling against her skin as she shuddered. Sliding his hands around to clutch her backside, he slid his tongue into her belly button and proceeded to lick a path down to the top of her tight fitting jeans. After spending a few moments slipping his tongue into the waistband of her pants and placing mouthing kisses on her skin where it met the border of the denim, Giles unfastened the jeans and slid them slowly down her legs. The lacy pink panties, though enticing in their own right, went right along with them.

The experience of being at approximately eye level with Buffy's newly exposed womanhood certainly gave Giles a few ideas, especially when he noted the wetness that was present in the small spray of golden curls. Foremost in his mind was the desire to taste her. Buffy, however, had ideas of her own. Giles let out a surprised exclamation as he felt his jeans being tugged down his legs. He only just managed to wiggle out of his shoes and kick the pile of clothes away from his feet before he found himself being pushed further back onto the couch. Buffy maneuvered so that she was straddling him once again, this time with no barriers between them.

Buffy rubbed herself against his cock, causing them both to groan. She reached out with an inquisitive hand to caress him, feeling how soft and hard he was at the same time. She watched _him_ now, for a switch. Totally exposed, his body was impressive. His arms had more muscle definition than she would have expected, though considering his performance in training she supposed it wasn't a surprise. He had some hair on his chest, just enough to be a little manly and sexy. His torso appeared a little soft on first glance, but she could feel the solid wall of muscle just beneath the surface when she touched him. There was a lot of strength in Giles at his core, literally _and_ figuratively. And at the moment, it was all for her.

Giles was having similar thoughts. He had always been fascinated by the contrasts in Buffy; the warrior hidden behind her ethereal beauty, the hard muscle disguised beneath supple skin. Having touched her extensively now, he was even more astonished. Her lines and curves were so soft, burning hot, and smooth. And God was she sweet to taste. Like vanilla and honey and cinnamon. He could only imagine what it would feel like to be inside her.

He didn't have to wait very long to find out. Buffy, it seemed, had grown impatient. With one small hand, she guided him to her entrance. He put one of his larger hands over hers, helping to direct her. Together, they rubbed the tip of his cock against Buffy's clitoris a few times. This caused her to release a few adorably incoherent little noises. After teasing for a minute or so, Giles released her hand and allowed her to guide him into her waiting warmth. She sank onto him slowly, allowing her channel a moment to stretch as he filled her.

They stayed still for a few moments, breathing erratically. Giles' hands were splayed at her waist, steadying her. After a few more seconds, she rolled her hips experimentally. "Ohhh," she moaned, "you feel so good…" She raised herself up, letting his shaft slide about halfway out before lowering herself again, loving the way this position embedded him so deeply. She repeated the action several times, exulting in the feel of Giles inside her, but she was slightly put off by how relatively still he had gone now that they were finally joined.

Had the seriousness of the situation finally gotten the better of him? Perhaps he had changed his mind and just couldn't bring himself to say anything? Had she forced him to this point? God, if he didn't want her, then why…

She looked into his face, watching as his eyes slowly opened. Giles didn't look turned off. He looked like he was experiencing absolute rapture. It made Buffy wonder: why, _why_ had she never thought of him this way before? Leaning his head back against the couch, breathing heavily and regarding her with eyes darkened by passion, he presented an extremely sensuous picture. Not to mention, he certainly had some _hidden attributes_ she had never previously considered… _I mean, wow!_

He watched her expectantly. Why had she stopped moving? She was right. It felt good. _So_ bloody good that he had to stay still and get used to the sensation for a second, before he burst like a horny school boy. She was looking apprehensively at him. Perhaps she was confused? No. Her heated glance showed no sign of confusion. Her expression could be easily described as out and out lust. Giles felt himself grow even harder, if that were possible. Maybe she just needed some… _encouragement_, which he would be more than happy to give. He felt her inner walls squeezing his cock like a vise. Exhaling raggedly, his hands slid down from her waist to grip her hips. He leaned forward just a little bit, put his lips against her ear and whispered roughly, "Jesus Christ, Buffy. Don't stop fucking me." He emphasized his point by thrusting his hips up into hers, driving even deeper.

With that, Buffy pushed his shoulders against the back of the couch and began to ride him slowly. His hands dug into her hips, angling her body just so and keeping her pace steady. Buffy moaned again, throwing her head back. Her hands rubbed from his shoulders down to his chest, grazing his nipples and causing him to give an incoherent shout of his own. They began grinding against each other frantically, intensely focused on the exquisite pleasure of their joined bodies.

Giles allowed his hands to wander, stroking her skin with abandon and drawing a series of encouraging noises from Buffy as she surged against him. She pitched forward so that her breasts rubbed against his chest as they thrust together. One of his arms slid around her lower back, steadying her so that he could plunge in and out with ever increasing speed and depth. Their mouths met, but they were too out of breath to share a deep kiss. Instead, they locked eyes as the frenzied lovemaking continued to escalate. Giles could feel that she was getting close. With every thrust she rotated her hips just as he pushed upwards, causing his rushing body to create amazing jolts of friction against her clitoris. He hissed in almost painful pleasure. "Mmm, you're _so_ tight…"

Buffy's arms were propped on either side of Giles' head as she rode him hard, gasping and murmuring passion drunk nonsense words as their flesh collided. Just as she started to come, she felt his teeth fasten onto her neck, just below her ear. Otherwise known as the most sensitive spot on her body. "Oh God, GILES!"

Her inner walls gripped him, pulsing and grasping at his cock. He bit her neck even harder as he came, wrapping both his arms around her and pulling her down onto himself with ruthless force. He wasn't even sure what words came out of his mouth for several blinding, white hot moments after that. He had definitely shouted her name at least once, that much he knew. Buffy's pleasure seemed to outlast his, and he realized she had spun into a second orgasm as he emptied himself into her, jerking madly and holding himself deep inside.

For several minutes there were no sounds in the room other than heavy, sated breathing. Their hands wandered each others' skin in long, languorous strokes, bodies still fused. Giles began to stroke a hand through Buffy's hair, looking down at her face where it rested in the crook of his neck. She purred contentedly, slowly opening her eyes.

They shared a long, searching look. Neither felt like discussing what had just happened between them, not yet. And, strangely, it didn't seem particularly urgent. The whole twisted situation, the argument, Spike, Riley… none of it mattered at all. The fact that they were laying chest to chest, naked, with him slowly softening inside her… nothing felt _strange _or _wrong_ about the situation. Both of them took vague and unconscious note of this fact, somewhere in their lust hazed minds.

Buffy was the first to speak. "Giles?"

He continued to stroke her hair, turning so that his lips rested against her forehead. "Hmm?"

Raising her head with some effort, she regarded him with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I don't think I got enough proof yet."

Giles shook his head slightly, as though waking up from a trance. "I- What?"

She bent her head to whisper in his ear. "I think I need you to show me again. Take me upstairs?"

The feel of her lips against his ear combined with the words of her request caused a stirring in several areas, including Giles' heart and other interesting places. A small smile crept onto his features, and he rubbed his nose against the side of Buffy's face. He reveled in cozy silence for a couple moments before replying, the smile growing bigger and reaching his eyes.

"Right, then. Shall we?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

(sigh) Well, that was exhausting to write. It took me all week! Word choice while writing smut it challenging, to say the least! Not to mention all the meticulous smut-related research that went into this. Vital questions like "Does Giles wear a belt with his jeans?" and "Will anyone notice how I ignored the fact that there's a table behind the couch in Giles' apartment for the sake of my own selfish authorial needs?"

As mentioned, there will be one more chapter to tie up all the nice little loose plot ends. AKA Riley and Spike. Perhaps we'll tie them up and throw them in the river? Anyone have a handy collection of cement blocks? ;)

This story is tired and slightly hungover after its weekend of partying with all its new friends. Who's up for a nap in the big king sized hotel bed with the down comforter and fluffy pillows? Champagne and strawberries will be arriving soon, and I hear the room service delivery person accepts reviews as a tip instead of money!


	6. Epilogue

Hi everybody! Here is the much-delayed epilogue to **Brits Do It Better**. Yes, the story is really finished! I really had a lot of fun writing this, even if it did turn out to be a lot longer than I planned. (sigh) Long fics just seem to be my curse!

Anyhow, this final (HUGE) chapter should tie everything up quite nicely. I still consider this to be a humorous chunk of smutty fluff, but I guess there's a little bit of plot there if you squint. _Really_ squint.

Timeline on this chapter is a little murky. Riley is still with the Initiative, but Spike is already helping Adam. So after 'Where the Wild Things Are', and just before or around the same time as 'New Moon Rising'.

Note: This chapter is very **M** rated. If you've read this far into the story, you should expect that by now! ;)

Special thanks to my pal **Littleotter73** for helping me take the fragmented ideas for this chapter and turn them into something that isn't a total puddle of goop. I couldn't have done it without you! :)

**Brits Do It Better  
Epilogue**

_7:30am_

Buffy woke up feeling… snuggly. And warm. Snuggly and warm and oh-so-relaxed. Her pillow was moving, a slow and steady up and down motion that was both comforting and intriguing. As her mind rose up a little further from the pleasant middle levels of consciousness, she realized why.

Her pillow was Giles. To be more specific, it was the perfectly comfy-shaped little crook between Giles' shoulder and chest. Buffy sighed happily, arching toward her bedmate and running a lazy hand diagonally across his chest and abdomen. Her questing hand was met absently by his and he smiled slightly, releasing a drowsy groan. "Mmm… Buffy…?"

Smiling and propping her chin on his shoulder in order to see him better, the Slayer realized that Giles was still snoozing pretty deeply. The adorability factor of her Watcher saying her name in his sleep with that sexy little smile on his face was pretty well off the charts, as far as she was concerned. Definite warm fuzzies involved when it came to the many levels of Giles' attractiveness, especially after the feverish hours of relentlessly passionate sex they had just shared…

Things had certainly taken a turn for the unexpected. Once her lips had met his, however, Buffy had known _exactly_ what had been missing from her relationship with Riley. She had also understood so many things about her relationship with Giles in that instant- it was life changing stuff. Buffy wondered if, in a way, she and Giles had been moving toward this since the day they met. That would explain why the sudden refashioning of their relationship seemed so… natural.

The sleeping man must have sensed that he was being watched. His eyes fluttered open slowly, betraying a small twinge of surprise when he saw who was peering fondly at him. "Good morning," he said.

Buffy smiled and answered him with a slow kiss, leaving no room for confusion as to her presence in his bed. He wasn't in any mood to complain, it seemed, as the arm that had been pinned beneath her body in sleep came up to embrace her. His other hand gently pushed the slightly tangled golden hair away from her face, thumb brushing the skin of her cheek.

Before the kiss was able to become too heated, Buffy broke it, propping herself up so that her face hovered above Giles'. "Giles… do you think we should talk?" She blushed as he raised an eyebrow at her, obviously amused at the seriousness of her tone in relation to their rather obvious lack of clothing. "I mean, we should talk, right? About... this?"

Pausing for a moment, Giles scooted backward so that he was seated against the headboard. Buffy followed suit, arranging a sheet so that she could at least be somewhat dignified during their discussion. "Well," he began, "I suppose the main question is… what exactly _is_ 'this'?"

His expression was tender, and Buffy could see an underlying vulnerability that made her want to wrap her arms around him and kiss him senseless. Which she probably would. After they were finished talking. "What is this? Umm… you know I'm not that good with words, Giles, but to me it's…" Buffy paused, trying to think of the right word to describe what she was feeling. "… a revelation."

Giles tilted his head, looking curious. "A revelation?"

Buffy smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. She felt like maybe it would be easier to say what she was feeling without getting caught in the intense green of his gaze. "Yeah. Like, I'm feeling all this stuff, but it's not _new_. I think it's been there for a long time. I just… didn't realize. Do you know what I mean?"

He chuckled just slightly. "Strangely, yes. And despite the lack of fine detail, you have managed to describe my own feelings rather accurately as well."

Heart fluttering pleasantly, Buffy raised her courage and looked up at the man next to her. What she saw in his eyes put all her apprehension to rest. The adoration in his eyes was obvious, which made her next question very easy to ask. "So how long do you think we've been in love with each other, without even knowing?"

Giles pulled her body against his, luxuriating in the warmth and softness of her skin. He whispered his reply against her lips. "Does it really matter?"

Buffy's answer was decidedly non-verbal, and the resulting 'conversation' was very enjoyable for quite awhile after that.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_10:40am_

It had gotten to the point where Buffy would be late for her eleven o'clock class if she stayed any longer. She headed towards the door, opening it to greet the sunny day. She was wearing one of Giles' oxford shirts over her jeans. He followed close behind her, barefoot and slightly rumpled. He pressed her against the doorframe for just one more kiss. "Will you come by later?"

Buffy's dreamy smile turned into a frown as real life intruded into her Giles-induced love haze. "Actually, I have a paper due tomorrow. I'll probably have to spend most of my evening in the library. Wow, that sucks even more when I say it out loud." Her eyebrows knit together in adorable disdain. "While we're on the subject of distasteful tasks, I should probably talk to Riley later, too."

He chuckled, stroking her cheek. "Would you like me to join you on patrol tonight?"

Giles just couldn't get enough of her, it seemed. She hadn't even gone yet, and he was already wanting to see her again. This new dimension of their relationship had erupted so suddenly, if he didn't know better he would think they were victims of a spell. But if the Watcher were honest with himself, these feelings had been building up inside of him for quite awhile. The really astonishing part was that they both felt the same, and that the hard won realization had been so pleasurable. And all of this in less than 24 hours. What a difference a day makes, indeed...

"Nah, I'm only planning a short one. I bagged enough vamps last night to keep the survivors hiding in their crypts for a few days." She slid her arms around his neck, touched by his obvious desire to spend time with her. "You could drop by the dorm later, though. Maybe around nine or ten? Willow has her Wicca club, so she should be out until at least midnight…"

Another kiss was already in progress before either of them really knew who started it. Their embrace was full of a new and delicious familiarity, sprinkled with longing. Giles broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against Buffy's. "Nine o'clock it is. Now run along or you'll be late for class."

Buffy nuzzled her nose against his affectionately. "Kiss me like that again, Watcher man, and I won't make it to class at all!"

"Go on, then." Grinning, he guided her gently over the threshold of the door with a hand at the small of her back. "I'll see you later."

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, Buffy looked back at him with a teasing smile. "I'll be waiting."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_8:45pm_

"I'm telling you right now, mate. I did a real job on those two. With just a little bit of luck they may never speak to each other again. Now about this whole chip situation…"

Spike had just spent an enlightening ten minutes informing the bio-mechanical demonoid of his progress the previous evening in the scheme to drive a wedge between Buffy and her friends. He seemed quite assured of his success in the case of the Slayer and her Watcher, and Adam had to agree that the vampire's plan was quite clever. WIthout the support of her friends and especially the knowledge and experience of her Watcher, the Slayer would be greatly weakened.

It seemed quite fortuitous, therefore, that one of the subjects of Spike's nefarious attention chose that moment to appear. The Watcher was walking at a steady pace down the tree-lined path connecting a small park with the UC Sunnydale campus. The hulking form of Adam ducked behind a tree, pulling his vampire companion along with him. "Look, it is the Watcher." Adam observed Giles as he walked, using his android senses to zoom in for a closer view. The man had a small smile on his face and looked relaxed as he walked, hands in his pockets. Adam turned to Spike, giving him a slightly suspicious look. "He does not seem distressed."

Spike was frozen for a moment, fixed by Adam's threatening gaze. Then, he realized the likeliest explanation for the Watcher's carefree demeanor. "But this is priceless! Don't you see? He hasn't seen her yet. He doesn't know that she heard. He's probably going to visit her right now, and boy is he ever gonna get it!"

"Interesting. This concept warrants further study. We shall follow the Watcher."

"Sodding right we shall. I don't want to miss the show!"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_8:55pm_

Riley Finn sighed, peering out from his current perch in the bushes. Colonel McNamara, the shiny new Commanding Officer of the Initiative's Sunnydale operation, had been riding his ass all day. He had been summoned for duty almost the moment his classes had finished for the day, giving him no time to grade any of the freshman Psych papers that were awaiting his scrutiny or even to go see Buffy- who said she had something she wanted to talk to him about. Something about the way she said it bothered him. She had looked uneasy. But instead of comforting his girlfriend and listening to her problems, where was he? In the bushes, tracking an essentially toothless, more or less harmless, non-threatening vampire.

McNamara had been all over him when he read the reports about the escape of Hostile 17, saying that the lack of effort being made to recover the errant specimen showed a lack of discipline, blah blah blah. And it only got worse when they went to the command center and the Colonel realized that the chip implant made the escaped vampire quite inherently trackable. Riley tried to argue that dealing with Adam was much more important, earning him a lecture about 'who gets to decide what's important around here'.

And so here he was, tracking Hostile 17. Or 'Spike', as he was apparently known in certain… circles. Riley scowled. His scanner indicated that the vampire was very close by, and headed in this direction. Maybe he could get this over with quickly so that he would have time to stop by and see Buffy before she went on patrol. He started to rise in order to take up a position at a better vantage when he saw Mr. Giles walking along the path, approaching from the same approximate trajectory that Hostile 17 was traveling. What was Mr. Giles doing on campus at this time of night? Riley had little time to wonder, as Hostile 17 came into view. Riley tensed when he realized that Adam was with him. The commando crouched out of sight, staying hidden as the two demonic entities passed. He overheard a snippet of their conversation.

"…Watcher'll be lucky if he survives this night with his skin intact…"

"…should be rather intriguing to observe the Slayer's reaction…"

This sounded like trouble. Adam and Spike were obviously planning to harm Mr. Giles, and Riley knew well enough that Buffy would _not_ react well. She had been ready to dismember that Rayne fellow after he turned her Watcher into a Fyarl demon. Surely whatever Adam was planning would be even worse, and Riley wasn't sure if even Buffy was strong enough to fight the robot/demon hybrid and his accomplice. Deciding not to risk detection by calling for backup just yet, Riley crept out from his hiding place and followed in the wake of his foes.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_9:00pm_

"Here, that's the Slayer's window. We should be able to see everything if we hide behind this."

Adam and Spike ducked behind the above-ground protrusion of a ventilation shaft. The blinds on Buffy's dorm room window were open, and the curtains drawn aside. The window was slightly ajar. Perfect view. Spike settled in as he spotted Buffy rising from her desk, presumably in reaction to the Watcher's knock at her door. He watched avidly as she opened the door to admit Giles. He stood close behind her as she locked the door. Spike assumed she was bolting it up so carefully because she wouldn't want to be interrupted by any alarmed passersby during the thrashing she was about to dish out.

The vampire's gleeful smile, however, was wiped clear off his face as Buffy turned around. She jumped into Giles' arms without a moment's hesitation, molding her body to his in a hot embrace. She kissed the Watcher ardently, gripping the sides of his face with both her hands and wrapping her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the door. One of his hands was tangled in her hair, and the other one squeezed her backside in a gesture that was unashamedly erotic.

No, oh no no no. Surely not. Spike knew he must be hallucinating, because the Slayer playing tonsil hockey with her Watcher was not part of his plan. In fact, it would seem to suggest that his plan had backfired.

Spike cringed as he watched Giles' hands wander over Buffy's very receptive body. She was placing sexy little kisses all over Giles' face. The tip of his nose, the side of his jaw, the edge of his eyebrow, the corner of his smugly smiling mouth…

Backfired. Oh, bollocks, had it ever gone pear-shaped. Spike jumped, hearing a demonic throat being cleared at his side.

Adam's lips were set in a grim line, and he was looking sidelong at Spike as though he were a small bug that he really, really wanted to squish. "This is rather… curious. The situation is not as you described."

At a loss, Spike looked on in wonderment at the scene before him, making a slight choking sound as Giles carried Buffy across the dorm room and toward the bed- which was conveniently placed right in front of the windows. "I… there must be some kind of mistake. A misunderstanding. Yeah. I'm sure I can fix it. No problem. I just need a little time to-"

"My patience wears thin!"

"Well, if we just wait until he comes out, we can grab him. By the looks of things, the Slayer will have him all tired out and he'll be vulnerable. Unmanned, sort of thing."

"This is your plan?"

Spike shrugged. "You got any better ideas?"

Adam was silent for a moment, glaring at Spike. "Very well. And in the meantime?"

"Might as well wait here. You said you were interested in human biology, didn't you? Looks like you're about to see some, up close and bloody personal."

Making an interested little noise, Adam used his enhanced cybernetic vision to focus in on the scene…

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles let Buffy's body slide down his until her feet were once again in contact with the floor. He sat down on her bed and pulled her toward him, chest tingling as her deft fingers unbuttoned his shirt. Placing kisses and light nibbles at the sensitive spot just below Buffy's ear, Giles allowed her to push the shirt off his shoulders and place his glasses on the bedside table. Her hands were hot on his skin, stroking his back and chest. With his own hands he returned the favor, aroused by the familiar sight of his shirt that she had borrowed earlier covering her upper body. "Have you been wearing this all day?"

Buffy trembled, enraptured by the sensation of Giles' hot mouth teasing the skin of her shoulder as he pulled the fabric of the shirt aside to reveal it. "Mmm, it smells like you."

"Well, as much as I like seeing you in it…" his words trailed off as the shirt fell to the floor. Giles had been interested to note that Buffy wasn't wearing a bra, and he took immediate advantage. He stroked one breast with his right hand, teasing the nipple with his thumb. The other pert globe received equal attention, causing Buffy to gasp as the flat of his tongue rubbed across the hardened pink bud.

It was almost frightening, how incredibly easy it was for Giles to turn her on. Not even two minutes in the room and she was already desperate with the need for him to fill her. As aroused as she was, it was to her credit that she was still able to be an active participant. She kissed him, winding her tongue with his and whimpering as he teased her lower lip with his teeth. His hands were doing delicious things to her skin, already so skilled at finding just the right places to stroke that would drive her crazy.

Trailing one hand down his chest and following the faint line of hair leading to the waistband of his jeans, Buffy allowed her hand to continue wandering until it found what it craved. Gently, she grasped the sizable bulge in his pants, squeezing and caressing. Giles buried his face in the crook of her neck, growling softly and winding a hand through her hair.

She spoke against his ear, rubbing herself against the top of his leg suggestively. "Giles, I want you inside me."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Riley Finn simply couldn't believe his eyes. Of course, that was one reason why he had a pair of high-powered digital binoculars. They didn't help particularly much in this case, only giving him an even better view of the woman he had thought was his girlfriend, seductively entwined with her much older Watcher on her dorm room bed.

His mind was reeling, trying and failing to come up with any type of reasonable explanation for Buffy's actions. Other than a sudden desire to have wild, obviously quite passionate, intimate relations with Mr. Giles. Riley frowned. Or was it really so sudden after all? She always had been a little… intense when it came to Mr. Giles. And possessive. And ready to rip the arms off anyone who harmed him. So just how long had this been going on?

He slumped, heart falling into his stomach. This must have been what she wanted to talk to him about… and yet he hadn't even rated a level of importance high enough for Buffy to keep her hands, or apparently her other… parts, to herself until talking about it with him. Leaning forward, Riley watched in spellbound dismay as Buffy and Mr. Giles practically ripped each other's clothes off. Before he could stop himself, Riley released an angry noise, somewhere between a sigh and a growl.

Unfortunately for Agent Finn, the two hostiles he had been tracking both had very advanced hearing. Two sharp sets of eyes were torn away from the scene at Buffy's window, now focusing intently on one blond commando from Iowa, hiding not-so-inconspicuously behind a tree that suddenly seemed far too slim for its purpose…

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles grinned slyly at her, hooking a finger into the front of her jeans and popping the button. "Not yet, love. I've got other plans for you this time." He pulled the zipper of her jeans down and then used both of his hands to shimmy the figure-hugging pants over her hips and down her legs. She stepped out of the pool of denim, fully expecting him to remove her panties as well. Instead, he picked her up and threw her onto the bed, causing her to emit a surprised giggle.

Buffy's breathing sped up as her Watcher slowly crawled on top of her, looking slightly predatory. As he bent his head to kiss her with a softness that surprised her, she understood why. As Giles' lips nudged gently against hers, his thumb suddenly caressed her center, rubbing her clit through the lace of her panties. A loud moan of encouragement escaped Buffy's throat before Giles was able to swallow it with his mouth. The friction caused by the coarse fabric rubbing between his thumb and her swollen bundle of nerves was causing jolts of pleasure to shoot through her extremities. She couldn't stop her hips from jerking up off of the bed, trying to increase that delicious pressure.

Giles smiled down at her, feigning innocence. God, she was sexy. And he loved teasing her, loved knowing that his touch could affect her this way. "Want something?" He kept rubbing slowly, sitting back on his heels and using his other hand to keep her hips pinned to the bed.

"More," she sighed, reaching one hand out to stroke his face.

In response to her request, Giles slowly slid the moist panties down her legs, tossing them aside carelessly. She looked up at him, feeling completely exposed with him hovering over her, still half dressed. Yet, she didn't mind letting him have control like this. He might make her go crazy with desire for him, but if that were the case she certainly would enjoy it.

Buffy drew a deep gasping breath as his mouth began to tease her already sensitized core, tasting and probing. One of his hands was splayed on her stomach, covering her belly button and holding her in place. The fingers of the other hand joined his mouth, exploring her center. Giles worked at her with his nimble fingers and oh so talented tongue until she was straining against him, muttering incoherent words of encouragement as he increased the pace with which he stimulated her clit. His fingers were stroking inside her at just the perfect angle. Her hands were in his hair, holding his face against her center. All at once, a powerful orgasm overwhelmed her, and she screamed his name. He kept stroking her with his tongue even when it felt like she couldn't take any more. Without warning, he changed his strategy and sucked at the bundle of nerves, applying just enough pressure to send Buffy spinning into a second- even more explosive- orgasm.

After a few moments of watching the stars float around on the back of her eyelids, Buffy opened her eyes to see Giles gazing down at her adoringly. She purred with contentment, pulling him down onto the bed next to her. The tingles all through her body, the warmth of his skin, his green eyes regarding her with tenderness… Buffy didn't think the moment could be any more perfect.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Riley didn't think this day of his life could possibly get any worse. First McNamara, then Buffy and Mr. Giles, and now Adam with his bony- or possibly metallic- knee crushing his windpipe.

Adam's eyes narrowed in recognition. "Brother, what are you doing here?"

Riley made a choking sound. Adam seemed to realize that it was currently a biological impossibility for Riley to breathe or speak, so he stood, releasing him. "I'm Tracking Hostile 17." He gestured toward Spike. After a frowning pause, he added, "and I am _not_ your brother."

"Hostile 17 my arse! You were watching the Slayer get X-rated with her Watcher, just like we were!"

"Speak for yourself. I tracked you here. Anything else I might have seen is incidental."

Spike snorted. "Incidental, eh? So how does it feel to lose out to a man twice your age, anyway? Must be a quite a blow to the old ego."

Riley knew it was childish and pointless to argue with Hostile 17, but he just couldn't help himself. Something about the neutered vampire brought out the worst in him, not that the situation wasn't doing a pretty good job of that already. "Who says I'm going to lose?"

A very satisfied feminine moan floated out from the slightly open window.

Spike grinned saucily. "Well, I guess we know where Buffy's casting her vote."

Adam watched the unfolding scene curiously.

Riley was on his feet now, looking thunderous. "You son of a bitch!" He pounced at the vampire, knocking him to the ground. They wrestled for a moment, Spike trying to throw the commando off without doing something that would activate his chip. Riley was landing some superficial punches, but nothing that actually hurt. The two eventually got to their feet again, squaring off. Spike watched Riley vigilantly, looking for any sign that he was going to launch another offensive. The commando pulled a small taser out of the cargo pocket of his uniform pants, pointing it at Spike.

"Oh no you bloody don't!" Before he could stop himself, Spike jumped toward Riley. His chip activated in mid-air, and he tumbled awkwardly, knocking the commando to the side and writhing in pain where he landed. Riley, for his part, was thrown against a tree with the taser in his hand. The momentum caused him to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, he was currently aiming the taser at his own leg. Riley and Spike released twin screams, both doubled over in pain.

Adam observed the scene, arms crossed over his chest. "I think I have collected enough data for one day. These observations may be of some use."

He left.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy was currently in the process of resuming the very pleasurable activity of kissing Giles. As she pulled him closer, she thought she heard a scream nearby. "Did you hear that?"

Giles was kissing the inside of her forearm, their fingers sweetly entwined. He barely batted an eyelash at her question. "Hear what," he asked disinterestedly.

"I thought I heard someone yelling."

The Watcher made a non-committal noise, pausing to look into Buffy's eyes. "Buffy, you live on a college campus. When _isn't_ there someone yelling nearby?"

"You make a good point, but I have one more problem." She smiled, rolling their bodies so that she was straddling his hips.

He gazed up at her, rubbing small circles on her smooth bare legs. "And what might that be?"

She wiggled her hips in a very demonstrative way. "You're still wearing pants."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_10:00pm_

Willow sighed unhappily, trudging through the common room. Wicca club had been a bust as usual, and Tara couldn't even make it because she had a test to study for. Willow was starting to realize just how unbearable the meetings actually were without Tara there. She really couldn't believe she'd just spent the past hour listening to the wannabe witch club talk about broomsticks and what kind of crushed flowers should be added to jazz up a love potion. At least with Tara there, one other person would think it was funny. She had left during the tea and cookie break, figuring maybe she would just go back to the room and study with Buffy.

Reaching the room, the redhead tried the door and was surprised to find it locked. Maybe Buffy had given up on her paper and gone on patrol? Either that or she was sleeping… Willow patted her pockets, finally finding the key in that little baby jeans pocket that never seemed to have a defined purpose. Apparently it was good for keys, or money if you folded it up really small.

Willow opened the door and stepped inside, noticing that the lights were on, oblivious to the scene that was about to greet her eyes. "Hey Buf- AAAAH!"

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Having made short work of Giles' pants, Buffy pulled her lover into the bed eagerly, inviting him under the covers. She reached down to stroke his cock, which was burning hot and hard in her small hand. A pleased groan escaped him as he kissed her thoroughly, nudging her legs further apart as they moved restlessly against his own. Looking down into her cherished face, he removed her hand from his hardness. He entwined the fingers of both his hands with hers, moving them up toward the headboard. His cock had no difficulty finding her wet heat, and he slid himself into her easily as she surged up to meet him.

Buffy bit her lower lip, whimpering. He felt so perfect inside her, hot and hard and thick and amazing. He was buried to the hilt, causing her to gasp as he ground his hips in a delicious circle. He was holding her arms above her head, his grasping hands gentle but firm. "Giles, please. I need you so much…"

"Yes," he breathed, beginning to thrust slowly in and out. Buffy's legs rose along his sides, cradling his torso. Their eyes were locked in a heated gaze, lost in each other as they fell into a timeless rhythm. "God Buffy," he ground out in a passion-rough voice, "you feel amazing, love."

He grazed her neck with his teeth and then brushed it softly with his lips, making her shiver with nothing more than the feeling of his breath tickling her earlobe. He continued to place small nips and kisses on her neck as they rocked against each other, sensations shared across their connection and intensifying by the moment.

He released his hold of her arms, bracing one of his hands on the bed to give more leverage to his thrusts. The first two fingers of the other hand traced her parted lips as their lovemaking picked up speed. Buffy released a gratified moan, sucking his fingers into her mouth for a few delicious moments. She stroked her hands along his flanks, eventually wrapping one around the middle of his back and gripping at his shoulder with the other. "Faster. Oohhh, it's _so good_…"

Giles obliged, plunging in and out fast enough and hard enough to make the bed beneath them creak in protest. He knew he was doing it just right by the way her little moans were growing in volume, her eyes unfocused and rapturous. With every thrust he made, her hips ground against his more and more demandingly until she was riding beneath him with a sensual ferocity, her body possessing every inch of his throbbing cock.

Buffy came in joyous waves, arms and legs gripping her lover in an almost bruising embrace. She shouted his name, attached to many endearments and unintelligible words of devotion. The fierceness with which she took and expressed her pleasure drove Giles right over the edge with her. His cock spasmed and jerked as her channel gripped him, their bodies locked together in shattering harmony.

For several minutes afterward the two were silent, holding each other, Buffy cradling Giles as his head rested sweetly on her shoulder. The Slayer was the first to recover the power of speech. "That was amazing."

"Mmm, making love with you is more than just amazing, dearheart. I would say… transcendent." Giles' arm was draped across Buffy's abdomen, elbow just grazing the covers where they pooled around their waists.

Giggling, Buffy stretched her body against his lazily in a not-so-innocent gesture. Her calf stroked up his thigh wickedly. "That's a nice word. So, you want to do it again?"

A laugh rumbled up through Giles' stomach. "As much as I would like to, some of us aren't blessed with Slayer stamina."

"Good thing I'm willing to share mine." She urge his face toward hers, enticing him into a slow and luxurious kiss.

This was the moment where Willow decided to walk through the door.

The initial jangling of the doorknob went unnoticed by the parties inside the room, who were otherwise occupied. The sound of the door opening and the sight of the redhead passing through it, however, were a little bit hard to miss. Especially since she had spotted them at virtually the same moment.

"Hey Buf- AAAAAH!"

Several things happened at once. Giles panicked, getting tangled in the covers as he attempted to scramble to… somewhere. He hadn't thought his actions out very well, really. This became obvious as his legs rebelled against his torso, caught up in the comforter. The Watcher made an alarmed little noise and tumbled over the side of the bed, still wrapped in Buffy's covers from the waist down as he hit the floor with a thud.

Buffy, for her part, only just managed to hold onto her dignity, maintaining the cover of her sheet by the grace of who-knows-what as Giles swept the rest of the bedclothes over the side of the bed along with him.

Willow stared, uncomprehending.

Giles turned red, attempting to pull the tangled covers up a bit further to hide his exposed torso.

Buffy put a hand over her mouth, trying not to let her manic giggles escape.

Willow, finally reanimated, did what came naturally to her in any awkward situation. She babbled. ""Why is Giles on the floor? Oh my God… Giles with no clothes? Buffy! T-there's naked Giles! On the floor!"

The giggles Buffy had been repressing finally burst forth, surprising both the other occupants of the room with their merry sound. Willow looked back and forth between Watcher and Slayer in astonishment. Giles fixed Buffy with a weak glare. "Well he was in the bed, Will. I think you kind of made him wig."

Truer words had never been said. Giles snorted with involuntary laughter, struck by the absurdity of the situation.

Willow desperately tried to grasp the meaning of the scene before her, repeatedly drawing a blank. "But… _why_?"

Buffy smiled down at Giles, who gave an answering grin from his perch on the floor. "Well, you know what they say about those Brits…"

Willow shook her head, eyebrows bunching. "N-no, I don't! What do they say about them?"

Giles blushed again.

Buffy raised an eyebrow and bit her lip, sending him a searing look.

Willow suddenly felt like she was really, really interrupting something. "Never mind. I don't really think I need to know right now. I'm pretty sure I have to go. Be somewhere. Else. Umm… bye!" The embarrassed redhead almost tripped over her own feet in her haste to escape the room. Buffy and Giles heard the lock clicking back into place as she exited.

"Well, that was mortifying."

"Oh, come on. It wasn't really that bad. At least she didn't _really_ interrupt-"

"Please, I don't even wish to imagine it."

Buffy laughed again, holding out a hand to help her Watcher up from the floor. "Come back up here and I promise I'll make it up to you."

Giving her a wary look, Giles arose, still wrapped in the comforter. He sat next to Buffy on the bed. "Are you sure that's wise? How long do you really think she'll be gone?"

"After that kind of trauma? It's mochas and an all-nighter in the library, for sure."

Giles smiled softly, brushing her hair back from her face. "Well if you're going to insist, I suppose I could be persuaded."

"Goody! Hey Giles?"

"Yes, love?"

"Is there anything else you Brits can do better?"

"Well, we certainly know how to-"

"Please don't say something about tea."

Giles laughed heartily, pushing Buffy down onto the bed. "Why don't I just show you, then?"

And she was very glad that she had asked.

**FIN  
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That's it! I've squashed any remaining plot bunnies related to this story! Even if I did really want Willow to go outside and find Riley and Spike laying in the grass… oh well, I think this finale is long enough as it is! I hope everyone enjoyed the conclusion.

Thanks to everyone who offered up comments, especially ones relating to waffles, pizza, strawberries, and other food-related review analogies! In return for such kindnesses, this fic would like to invite everyone to its graduation party. It will accept reviews in lieu of graduation presents. Although it wouldn't mind if you brought some alcohol to the party, too… no no, make it reviews! This fic really needs to drink less…

Seriously, though. Thanks, guys, for all the feedback. You made the process of writing this story really fun! :)


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